Streaking
by JojoLightningfingers
Summary: This spawned from a conversation I had with FlamingDoritos. Thus, this is crack. On a free day turned sour with rain, Boyd decides to do something...strange.


**I AM BLAMING FLAMINGDORITOS FOR THISSSS**

**So. Yes. The story behind this crackfic is that I was reading her Yaoi Emblem fanfiction on DA. The scene with Boyd fighting without pants killed me. I told her so. She replied thusly...**

**"Boyd is the type to go streaking, I think. Without any prodding from his friends whatsoever. He'd just be sitting on the couch, watching TV with Ike and Ranulf and then sit up and say 'Hey, does anyone else want to run down the street naked?' And then off he'd go without any regard for whether or not they were actually following him or not. "**

I believed it to be the epitome of excellence, and thus this crackiness was spawned. It was a funny idea, LEAVE ME ALONE.

* * *

Had you been there right before it happened, you never would have _guessed_ it would happen.

But then, Boyd had always been kind of a wild card.

It was a day when nothing had to be done – a rarity among the Greil Mercenaries. Ike, Rolf, Oscar, and Boyd were all forced to share the same tent, as there had been many a stray Elfire and Bolganone during the last skirmish, resulting in some incinerations and a bunch of very unhappy cloth. More so for the people who lived inside them.

Needless to say, the quartet was a bit cranky from the continued proximity. Even the good-natured Oscar was starting to feel very caged in and annoyed beyond belief. It went without saying, then, that everyone was a bit relieved when the free day came around and they could all stretch their legs.

Then the rain started and it was back to the tents for everyone, with much groaning and complaining.

And so it went. All four had tried to catch some shut-eye early on in the rainstorm; after being kicked in the stomach four times – twice by Rolf, once each by Oscar and Boyd – Ike had decided he'd had enough. His irritations boiled over, causing him to act irrationally. Meaning that he smacked each of them over the head, resulting in Boyd punching him back and starting a mini-brawl right then and there, Rolf crying, and Oscar scolding both his younger brother and commanding officer while trying to break everything up.

The blue-hair feared he would go insane if he had to spend another moment longer with them, so he demanded that at least one of them leave. Rolf he would allow to stay, after all, he was just a child, really. Oscar was of the same opinion and Boyd refused to be budged – thus, the eldest of the brothers left to go and crash with Kieran.

The spat over, Rolf, Boyd, and Ike resumed their sleeping.

When they woke up, Boyd discovered, to his eternal mortification, that he'd somehow contrived to spoon Ike into him in his sleep, the outcome being very awkward and with much shouting and red-faced quarreling on the older boys' parts. Rolf found it all very hilarious and watched with a devil's grin on his face.

An hour and a half later, Oscar tromped back through the rain to the tent, scarlet in the face in contrast to his hair and begging for entry. When asked why, he only blushed deeper and muttered something about Kieran being queer; Ike struggled not to burst into hysterical laughter, Boyd stared at him with an 'are you serious?' face on, and Rolf, thankfully ignorant as to the definition of that word, gazed at his older brother with an expression of utmost puzzlement. In the end, they let him come in and life continued as usual.

It was another hour after. Boyd was sharpening his axe, Rolf watching over his shoulder, Oscar was absentmindedly leafing through a cookbook, and Ike was leaned on one of the tent supports, bored out of his mind.

Boyd stood up suddenly. "Anyone want to go streaking?"

All motion in the room came to a standstill. Ike froze midyawn, Oscar stopped turning the page and stared down at it blankly. Rolf's eye twitched. Slowly, all three stared up at him with a 'what the hell' look etched on their faces.

Without waiting for an answer, Boyd started tearing at his clothes. Oscar leapt into action, shielding Rolf's eyes with one hand and shutting his own. Ike lifted his head to look at the ceiling, mouth still hanging open slightly.

The tent flap rustled, pounding feet thudded through the silence. It was then that they realized that the rain had stopped and that everyone was back outside. All three cringed.

Screams of "Boyd!?" and "What the hell?!" echoed all the way around the camp. Oscar poked his head out and shouted that he was not related while Rolf and Ike hung back in silence.

The lance knight pulled his head back in. Rolf stared at Oscar, Oscar stared at Ike, Ike stared at Rolf. "Let us never speak of this again," Ike muttered. The other two agreed hurriedly.

Fifteen minutes later, a madly giggling Mia and a stony-faced Titania threw the naked fighter back into the tent. His clothes hit him in the face a second later. Titania stormed away, shooing everyone back into their tents.

The instant Boyd was dressed, grinning like a lunatic, his older brother wiped that smile off with a well-aimed punch. Where it landed, I won't say, but you can be sure that Boyd was in serious pain. The green-hair curled in on himself, gasping for breath.

Ike and Rolf winced. "Brother, you didn't have to do that!" Rolf protested, helping the fighter up.

"He needed a good smack," Oscar shot back, shaking his head and going back into the cookbook. A second later, he relented, mumbling a 'sorry' in Boyd's general direction.

"It's okay," Boyd grunted, the grin back on his face. "It was worth it to see their faces. Wonder what they'd look like if Ike or Oscar'd done that, they'd _never_ have seen _that_ comi-" his sentence was lost as Ike elbowed him in the jaw and Oscar popped him over the head, both blushing furiously. Even Rolf would agree that his brother had earned that one.

* * *

**Chips, swear to god. You are awesome.**


End file.
